dear father, don't leave me by chickennoodles5, literature
Literature
dear father, don't leave me
I use to listen to my father,
but now I can't even remember his laugh.
I'd stay up all night just to try and remember.
I sometimes can't even remember his face.
His warming smile, his gentle hands.
It was all thrown away, one Tuesday night.
It seems like I think about it a lot,
but I can't fucking help it.
It eats me alive,
just thinking about what I could have said.
I've got a rotten heart,
with a gaping void that sucks away the life.
Your smile, your laugh once kept it alive.
I just feel so cold, so close to numb.
So alone.
i'm fine, don't worry about it by chickennoodles5, literature
Literature
i'm fine, don't worry about it
Don't ask me,
"Is everything okay?"
You don't care.
I don't feel happy anymore,
and want to die.
I would rather feel nothing,
than feeling like death.
I want to put a gun to my head,
and knock my head off.
Purposely drive into a tree late at night,
at 120 mph.
Overdose on pain killers,
and sleep my death away.
No suicide note,
because no one will care.
Just like when you told me,
You don't fucking care.
Well neither do I,
not anymore.
I'm not afraid to die,
the pain,
the agony,
the suffering.
It's all something to feel,
something I wish I had.
Don't fucking ask me,
"Why?"
suicidal thoughts / late night drives by chickennoodles5, literature
Literature
suicidal thoughts / late night drives
To pass the time,
you think of ways of how you could die
driving alone at 2 am
solitude didn't seem so bitter
how would mom react?
what about my friends?
you wonder "would anyone really care?"
suicidal thoughts, to pass the lonely hours
you can't stand sleeping alone anymore.
it would be just so easy
to simply cross paths with oncoming traffic
one slip of the wrist, hold your breath
your family wakes up to a phone call
someone has found you on the side of the road
your brains scattered across the road
could you hear your bones breaking?
your neck snapping?
the blood spilling?
could you hear yourself die?
"no, please no"
you're not who you used to be and i miss you by chickennoodles5, literature
Literature
you're not who you used to be and i miss you
the smoke stings your eyes
fills your head will illness
burning your throat,
your lungs begin to sink
as with your heart
you're dying inside, and I can see it
in your eyes was a friend
someone I didn't recognize
or that I wish I didn't
I miss you.
years come,
things have changed.
once someone so beautiful
and unique
now a clone like every other
that slowly kills themselves
on the inside
and out.
I've lost a friend.
for the better or worse
doesn't matter to me
because you're not who you used to be,
and that doesn't mean a thing to me.
you're a stranger,
and only a memory now.
everything is different by chickennoodles5, literature
Literature
everything is different
Waiting at home for you to come home, I watched the leaves twist and turn through the wind. The same wind that would come by on our barbeques and home cooked meals during the summer. Chasing each other across the yard, nothing seemed to matter, even if it rained. For so long it seemed like I waited for years, just for you to come home. The house was quiet and I felt that wind starting to grow tired. I can feel the body of your ghost haunt my room, sitting in the corner was where I felt like I was. Hiding from what I don't want to hear. No you're not fucking gone, you're still here, and you'll always be here. Please Mom, don't tell me this, no
invitation to my funeral by chickennoodles5, literature
Literature
invitation to my funeral
I feel alone.
I woke up one morning, afraid.
That things have moved on,
But I still haven't made the effort.
Still building walls between the real world and my own.
I'm losing everything,
Friends, family, opportunities.
I swear I'm trying, I'm doing everything I can.
Fuck it, the world doesn't care.
No one ever cared.
My voice can't be heard,
I am not important.
I leave no mark on anyone's hearts,
I make no impact on anyone's life.
Another walking silhouette,
Just passing by.
I'm just passing on by.
Dead weight deep in my chest,
No heart beat to be heard,
Stinging pain in the back of my head,
Make it all fucking stop.
I c
cliche endings were never my favorite endings by chickennoodles5, literature
Literature
cliche endings were never my favorite endings
When you're on your way to the roof top,
Do you think of what you did today?
Or do you wish to forget, trying to forget.
And when you reach the roof top,
Do you remember who you love?
What you want to say to them,
What they meant to you,
What they'll say, when they hear.
Things you wish you did,
Things you wish you never had done.
Your heart is racing, it's beating,
Heartache setting in, it hurts, everything hurts.
And when you see that ledge,
Do you think to yourself,
The memories you made,
The laughs you lived,
The smiles you created,
The pain you experienced,
The life you lived.
Or end.
And when you stand on that ledge,
dear father, don't leave me by chickennoodles5, literature
Literature
dear father, don't leave me
I use to listen to my father,
but now I can't even remember his laugh.
I'd stay up all night just to try and remember.
I sometimes can't even remember his face.
His warming smile, his gentle hands.
It was all thrown away, one Tuesday night.
It seems like I think about it a lot,
but I can't fucking help it.
It eats me alive,
just thinking about what I could have said.
I've got a rotten heart,
with a gaping void that sucks away the life.
Your smile, your laugh once kept it alive.
I just feel so cold, so close to numb.
So alone.
i'm fine, don't worry about it by chickennoodles5, literature
Literature
i'm fine, don't worry about it
Don't ask me,
"Is everything okay?"
You don't care.
I don't feel happy anymore,
and want to die.
I would rather feel nothing,
than feeling like death.
I want to put a gun to my head,
and knock my head off.
Purposely drive into a tree late at night,
at 120 mph.
Overdose on pain killers,
and sleep my death away.
No suicide note,
because no one will care.
Just like when you told me,
You don't fucking care.
Well neither do I,
not anymore.
I'm not afraid to die,
the pain,
the agony,
the suffering.
It's all something to feel,
something I wish I had.
Don't fucking ask me,
"Why?"
suicidal thoughts / late night drives by chickennoodles5, literature
Literature
suicidal thoughts / late night drives
To pass the time,
you think of ways of how you could die
driving alone at 2 am
solitude didn't seem so bitter
how would mom react?
what about my friends?
you wonder "would anyone really care?"
suicidal thoughts, to pass the lonely hours
you can't stand sleeping alone anymore.
it would be just so easy
to simply cross paths with oncoming traffic
one slip of the wrist, hold your breath
your family wakes up to a phone call
someone has found you on the side of the road
your brains scattered across the road
could you hear your bones breaking?
your neck snapping?
the blood spilling?
could you hear yourself die?
"no, please no"
you're not who you used to be and i miss you by chickennoodles5, literature
Literature
you're not who you used to be and i miss you
the smoke stings your eyes
fills your head will illness
burning your throat,
your lungs begin to sink
as with your heart
you're dying inside, and I can see it
in your eyes was a friend
someone I didn't recognize
or that I wish I didn't
I miss you.
years come,
things have changed.
once someone so beautiful
and unique
now a clone like every other
that slowly kills themselves
on the inside
and out.
I've lost a friend.
for the better or worse
doesn't matter to me
because you're not who you used to be,
and that doesn't mean a thing to me.
you're a stranger,
and only a memory now.
everything is different by chickennoodles5, literature
Literature
everything is different
Waiting at home for you to come home, I watched the leaves twist and turn through the wind. The same wind that would come by on our barbeques and home cooked meals during the summer. Chasing each other across the yard, nothing seemed to matter, even if it rained. For so long it seemed like I waited for years, just for you to come home. The house was quiet and I felt that wind starting to grow tired. I can feel the body of your ghost haunt my room, sitting in the corner was where I felt like I was. Hiding from what I don't want to hear. No you're not fucking gone, you're still here, and you'll always be here. Please Mom, don't tell me this, no
invitation to my funeral by chickennoodles5, literature
Literature
invitation to my funeral
I feel alone.
I woke up one morning, afraid.
That things have moved on,
But I still haven't made the effort.
Still building walls between the real world and my own.
I'm losing everything,
Friends, family, opportunities.
I swear I'm trying, I'm doing everything I can.
Fuck it, the world doesn't care.
No one ever cared.
My voice can't be heard,
I am not important.
I leave no mark on anyone's hearts,
I make no impact on anyone's life.
Another walking silhouette,
Just passing by.
I'm just passing on by.
Dead weight deep in my chest,
No heart beat to be heard,
Stinging pain in the back of my head,
Make it all fucking stop.
I c
cliche endings were never my favorite endings by chickennoodles5, literature
Literature
cliche endings were never my favorite endings
When you're on your way to the roof top,
Do you think of what you did today?
Or do you wish to forget, trying to forget.
And when you reach the roof top,
Do you remember who you love?
What you want to say to them,
What they meant to you,
What they'll say, when they hear.
Things you wish you did,
Things you wish you never had done.
Your heart is racing, it's beating,
Heartache setting in, it hurts, everything hurts.
And when you see that ledge,
Do you think to yourself,
The memories you made,
The laughs you lived,
The smiles you created,
The pain you experienced,
The life you lived.
Or end.
And when you stand on that ledge,
"Get a life"
"Make some friends for once."
"Crazy, just like his hair over there."
"Do you EVER wear any colors?!"
"Nerd."
"Why don't you use your own imagination."
"Get a haircut."
"Show me your wrists."
"Hey, the emo kid!"
"I bet he's goth."
"Are you always depressed?"
"Just get out of here."
"Dumbass."
"What would you know?"
"Even I'm smarter than you."
"Dude, you're a complete retard."
"So annoying."
"I think all your little 'stories' are just lies."
"Do you ever even get out?"
"How could you not know that?"
Daily abuse, a pill of resistance, and you might be able to rise above it.
It had been foolish. by No-parachutes-here, literature
Literature
It had been foolish.
A bright blond, almost platinum head of hair was resting on the pillow. The person the hair belonged to was all curled, clinging to the blankets as if someone might attempt to remove them. The layers of blankets and sheets were pulled up past his chin, covering much of his face. The room around was a disaster area, clothes and possessions everywhere. Though, the owner claimed that it was organized chaos. He knew where everything was, and nothing was allowed be moved. There were clear spots near the dresser, and around the desk. Where it was visible between clothing, bland gray carpet covered the floor and the walls of the room were white.